Bofors takes to blogging, pours out his anger!

Bofors, a child of pre-reforms era who went missing in Kumbh Mela years ago, has resurfaced now as an angry young man. He is angry because no one seems to acknowledge his pioneering role in scam-building in the country.

The nation has completely forgotten the original hero whose stellar contributions had catapulted India into the global map of big-ticket scandals.“Is this the way you treat your national heroes?” asked Bofors with an intense, Arnab Goswami-like expression in his voice.

"This is as humiliating as Tusshar Kapoor’s Bollywood career,” he admitted and vowed to fight for a pride of place among the hallowed pantheon of scamsters who are worshiped in the country. 

Like any outraged Indian youth, Bofors has taken to blogging to pour out his anger against an unjust system that has ignored the framers of the “con”stitution. Aptly titled “Yes, We Scam!”, his blog is a bare-all account of the journey of a neglected graft artiste, a heart-wrenching saga of a man who was once hailed as the whiz kid of the con world. 

     

Here is a sneak preview of his angst-filled blog post:

“Abandoned by the political class, I was made to feel like a boy who goes missing in a Kumbh Mela. On my return, I was hoping for an emotional re-union, reserved for a long-lost boy. But, what have I got in return? Nobody in the country seems to care about me.

I was expecting the nation to embrace me. But now, I have realized that much smoke has flowed from the barrel of the howitzers in the last 25 years. I am no more wanted as the country has come a long way in terms of the size and ingenuity of the scams.  A mere Rs 60 crore kickbacks, which I was credited with, is like peanuts these days, I am told.

I am also told that while ancient Indian mathematicians had invented the concept of zero, the present-day politicians are adding zeros to the scam amounts in innovative ways. Look, I have no fight with them. What all I am saying is I should get my due. Period.

I wanted to pour my heart out on Arnab’s “News Hour” show, a programme that seeks answers from the nation on pressing issues and dispenses instant justice. But, I was shouted down by the learned panelists across the political spectrum and an all-weather expert Suhel Seth.            

“Look, things have changed now. Size does matter. Look at 2G, CWG, Coalgate and Choppergate. What is Bofors’ standing in the market? It is like a Kiranawala taking on a Fortune-500 company. We advise Bofors to withdraw from the race and accept defeat like a true sportsman,” the Congress spokesman Manish Tiwari taunted me. 

Even the BJP spokesman did not come to my rescue. “We have disowned Bangaru Lakshman because he was caught accepting a mere Rs One lakh in the Tehelka sting operation. Such a small amount is an affront on our image and stature. I am sorry to say that Bofors does not qualify to be called a scam,” the BJP spokesman Ravishankar Prasad argued.

Being an investigator, adjudicator and moral policeman rolled into one, Arnab dismissed my case, placing me under BPL (Below Poverty Line) category of scams.

In a distressing moment like this, I get inspired by Arvind Kejriwal and think of launching my own political party called “scAam Aadmi”.