A Calendar War!

A massive revolt is brewing in the world of Calendar. The protesters, numbering 364, have hit the streets and gave vent to their anger against the “hegemony and supremacy” of December 12 which gets all the attention of the world for being the birthday of superstar Rajnikanth.

At the heart of the uprising is a perceived sense of victimhood among the rest of the members of calendar. “We are treated like second-class citizens. What sin have we committed to face such a discrimination?” asked a protester, waving a placard that read “We want justice”.  Others also pitched in, vigorously waving banners containing slogans like “Do not make Dalits out of Dates”, “Dates too have dreams”, “Fight for equality”, “Down with one-man show”.

What came as a final straw for the simmering calendar community was the hype generated on the occasion of the sequential numerological arrangement 12-12-12. The breathless media coverage of Rajnikanth’s birthday and what it meant for humanity has stoked anger among the aggrieved dates. “Now, enough is enough. This is hurting our sentiments. We will not take this injustice and discrimination anymore,” fumed an agitator.

An emergency meeting of the rebel members was held to chalk out a future course of action to ensure a level-playing field for all those engaged in chronicling the journey of time. “Folks, we have been silently discharging our duty of recording the events and putting up with all the bullshit that goes in the name of human history. Now, the most important challenge before us is how to correct the mindset of human beings. They can neither have equality among themselves nor can they treat us equally. We need to speak up now,” said January 1, the senior most member of the group.

The meeting assumes significance as the unprecedented upheaval threatens to shake the very foundations of the sentinels of time. “Can we condemn December 12 as communal and a creation of RSS? This may please secular forces,” suggested February 28 whose only claim to fame is that Digvijay Singh was born on that day.

However, the meeting overruled his “pseudo-secular” idea. Then, the gathering turned its attention towards June 19 who always begins like a roar but ends in a whimper, exactly like the scion of India’s first political family born on the day.

“Can I send my team of observers to gauge the public mood on our plight?” asked June 19 in a hesitant tone. A senior member chided him, saying “Abey, Chup! Moov Math Khulao Meri. You know something? We have been telling the world that you will soon play a larger role in the affairs of the calendar management. But, you always slip into your shell and disappoint us.”  

While the main agenda of the meeting was to register a strong and unequivocal condemnation of the undue importance being given to December 12, the members also spoke about the need to debunk astrologers and numerologists for perpetuating wrong notions about certain periods of the day in a calendar year. “We take strong exception to the human concept of “Rahu Kalam” as it paints us in poor light,” a resolution adopted at the meeting said.