Headlines Tomorrow

History repeats itself. Lousy history repeats itself lousily. Following is a list of embargoed events, meant for automatic public release on the day they occur:

1)Raja admitted to Apollo Hospital: Telecom innovator and Dalit icon A Raja was rushed to a private hospital after he complained of chest pain, minutes before being taken to jail. The Delhi court, which remanded him to two-week judicial custody, permitted medical tests to be conducted on him at a corporate hospital of his choice.

Soon, 47-year-old Raja, with no medical history of hypertension, diabetes or cardiac problems, was admitted to a VIP block at Apollo Hospital and screened for all possible future ailments. According to doctors attending on him, his stay at the hospital would be co-terminus with the remand period. The reports of diagnostic tests would be ready on the day the remand period expires.

2)DMK dubs CBI as anti-Tamil: The DMK, an uncompromisingly pro-poor party, has accused the Central Bureau of Investigation of being anti-Dalit and anti-Tamil and falsely implicating its propaganda secretary A Raja in the 2G spectrum scam.

“From Aryan invasion to arrest of Raja, the Dravidians have been at the receiving end. The Hindi hegemonic forces are hurting Tamil pride,” the DMK Chief Kalaignar Karunanidhi said in a statement.

3)Kalmadi moves Pune court for anticipatory bail: Sensing imminent arrest in the CWG scam, the legendary sports administrator Suresh Kalmadi has approached a court in Pune, seeking anticipatory bail. Though he has been given sufficient time by the investigators to tamper with the evidence and cover his tracks, the Maratha strongman does not want to take any chances.   

4)Nation first, say “Adarsh” officers: The Defence officials involved in the “Adarsh” housing scandal have warned that any action against them would demoralize the armed forces. “Do you have any idea of what you are doing to the morale of jawans guarding the country’s borders?,” they said, referring to a flurry of media reports on how the prime land in Mumbai, meant for families of Kargil heroes, was gobbled up by politicians, bureaucrats and defence officials.

5)Left Front stages dharna at Singur project site: The leaders of left parties held a protest rally at Singur, seeking immediate cancellation of an industrial project. They accused the Mamata Banerjee government in West Bengal of resorting to “unbridled industrialization” in the area to dole out favours to some American companies.

6)India creates diplomatic history: It was a ton with a difference! India has scored a century, sending 100th letter to Pakistan urging it to dismantle the infrastructure of terror. The politely-worded letter came in the backdrop of simultaneous terror strikes across North India. Unlike the 26/11 Mumbai attacks, when terrorists took the sea route, they chose to walk into the country through Wagah border this time and indulged in mayhem. New Delhi pledged its commitment to continue the CBMs (Confidence Building Measures) after Islamabad said the attacks were the handiwork of “non-state actors”.

7)Home-coming, says Jagan: Once dubbed as enfant terrible of Congress, Y S Jagan Mohan Reddy has returned to the party he revolted against. “It is a home-coming for me. After all, my father YSR was associated with Congress till his last breath,” he said at the re-induction ceremony. On their part, Andhra Pradesh Congress leaders have dubbed as “media creation” the rancor between the ruling party and the former Kadapa MP. 

8)Rakhi Sawant to host reality scam show: After televised “Swayamvar” and instant “Insaaf”, the youth icon Rakhi Sawant is set to host a political reality show aimed at rewarding innovative scamsters. In the preliminary rounds of the programme, titled “Rakhi Ke Saath, Ghotala Ki Baath”, the contestants will be required to reel out the exact number of zeroes in the amounts associated with popular mega scams of the country.