Singh's Speech

Indian scientists have achieved a major breakthrough in acoustics engineering. A device that converts silence into sounds was successfully demonstrated at the ramparts of Red Fort from where Prime Minister Manmohan Singh appeared before the nation on the occasion of 66th Independence Day.

His 35-minute silence was converted into sounds and amplified through the speakers. Though Singh maintained his trademark silence, all the countrymen got to listen to his message on a myriad subjects. The words flowed through the speakers and reverberated across the Red Fort ground while television channels beamed them live.


Not many know that there is science behind the sounds. “It is a red letter day for the scientific community. We have demonstrated a key technology that gives voice to the voiceless,” said a spokesman of the Advanced Acoustics Research lab at IIT, Delhi.


The indigenously developed technology should not be confused with the Speech Generating Device (SGD), made famous by internationally renowned physicist Stephen Hawking. “Unlike Hawking who uses an advanced computer system to build up words and then send them to a voice synthesizer, our Prime Minister can just remain silent, as he usually does, and the device will take care of communicating with the world,” explained a researcher associated with the CSIR-funded project.


A complex set of algorithms and intelligence systems built into the system will enable the Prime Minister to produce some re-assuring sounds, whether it is about the gloomy economy, power outages, scams or threats from Mamata Banerjee. For instance, when terrorists strike any part of the country, the phrases like “we will not be cowed down by acts of cowardice”, “Terrorism has no religion” and “We will bring the culprits to book” will flow from the wonder machine even while the Prime Minister remains tight-lipped.


In tune with the new technological development, the rules and procedures of the Parliament will be amended to replace the expression “written reply from Leader of the House” with “digitally synthesized reply”. Consequently, no supplementary questions will be handled by the Prime Minister.


The technological invention has cheered up the Congress leadership which has been facing constant criticism over Prime Minister’s deafening silence even in the face of serious crises. “This device should silence our critics. If BJP takes pride in its “Loh Purush” (Advani), we are proud of our “Silicon Purush”,” said an AICC spokesman.


However, the saffron party is not impressed with the invention. “We have a Prime Minister whose functioning is remote controlled by 10, Janpath and now we are told that even his voice is not his own. At best, we can describe Manmohan Singh as the country’s first ventriloquist Prime Minister,” said BJP spokesman Ravishankar Prasad.